Every mother that I know, myself included (because I know
myself), strive for perfection in everything we do. For the SAHM it is having a clean house,
happy, well-adjusted children, cooking every meal from scratch, cloth
diapering, crafts for the home, DIY everything, time, love and support for our
husbands, and lots of love and attention for our kids to name a few. For the working mother it is all of the
above, plus excelling in our careers.
And for all of us in addition to that list is time for ourselves, time
with girlfriends, and well, let’s be honest…sex. So, when do we sleep?
We research and ask around to make sure we are doing
everything right, reading books, blogs and articles written by the “experts”. Constantly questioning ourselves, and making
slight if not huge changes to what we are already doing. We make ourselves crazy striving for
perfection. We tell ourselves that our
kids are perfect (which is true), and that we have to make everything perfect
for them (which is true, we just need to adjust our definition of perfect). How about perfection being that we do our
very best every single day? When we make
a “mistake” (handle a situation in a way that we told ourselves we wouldn’t), we
can tell ourselves that tomorrow is a new day, the next challenge a new moment
to do better. And instead of beating
ourselves up with guilt, we think about what lead us to handle the situation in
a less than ideal way. What do we need
to do differently for ourselves? Maybe
instead of staying up late researching or pinning, we can go to bed sooner, to
get more rest which inevitably gives us more patience.
We could set aside at least 15 minutes every day to do
something for ourselves, something we really enjoy. And, yes we do enjoy taking care of our
children, but I’m talking about something for us. We can afford to be
selfish for a mere 15 minutes per day.
(Although, I think it should be closer to a whole hour each day, but
that isn’t always feasible…but when it is…seize the day!)
We could maybe get up earlier to have some time to meditate,
do yoga, exercise, or just sit in the quiet.
We could schedule time for ourselves each week to get out of the house
ALONE for 30 minutes to an hour. We
could schedule much needed time with girlfriends once per month.
We could join a mom’s group where we feel supported and accepted. We need this, our kids and our husbands need for us to do it.
We could join a mom’s group where we feel supported and accepted. We need this, our kids and our husbands need for us to do it.
It all comes down to knowing that in each moment we have,
there is perfection in it. We can shift
our thinking about any situation. We
mess up; we can do better next time. We
learn from every experience we have. Our
kids teach us so much; we just have to pay attention. Here is an example: I’m rounding up my twin boys for diaper
changes so we can get ready to leave the house.
We have less than 2 hours until nap time, so we need to get moving as
our errands will take at least an hour and then we have lunch and play, then nap…and of
course, I’m running a bit behind. So I
get Sweet Pea cooperating, however, Love Bug is running away from me (so
frustrating!), well when I go after him, he is laughing hysterically because in
his mind we’re playing a chasing game. Sweet Pea
hears the laughter and comes running in, also laughing. Now I’m thinking, great, now I have to get
both of them back into their room! I’m so irritated for the seconds it takes me
get to Love Bug, then I see his adorable giggly self, and I really see him and I
can’t help but smile and laugh (partly at myself for being such a grump). I finally see this moment for what it is; my
incredibly smart boys are teaching me.
This moment is a reminder to slow down, that schedules can be shifted,
and to remember to have fun in everything
we do. Simply rounding up our children
to leave the house can turn into a game and not put you too far off schedule if
done right…and even if it does…how bad can that really be?
